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Difference between moving out staying at home

Share via Email Getting on the property ladder is tough but then again, it always has been. I tried to understand, I really did, but it was difficult after reading the latest report on adult children still living at home: I could barely suppress the urge to grab someone, perhaps not the 20-year-olds, but certainly the thirtysomethings and scream: You get one life and you're living it in your parents' house, as a strangely tall child, presumably with secondary sexual characteristics.

Whatever it takes, whatever it costs, however much your standard of living falls, you must save yourself and leave.

I've always believed that people should have one of those things that start with a birth, end with a death and have lots of stuff going on in the middle. You know, a life. Studies such as this always amaze me. Not because I'm nasty or stupid. I know about high rents, low wages, no wages, exploitative landlords, travel costs, dangerous areas, debts, student or otherwise, and the housing ladder. I also understand that, in different cultures, adults live at home before marriage.

For Britons, if you've always been healthy but you're still living with your folks in your late-20s, never mind mid-30s, something has gone wrong.

And no amount of defensive yammering about high rents is going to change that. There's an argument that older generations have screwed over the young and I sympathise. Certainly, I find it repulsive that generations who went to university for free got away with imposing crippling fees on the young.

What a novel way of selling Stephen King's new novel

After that, my sympathy wanes a tad. I spent much of my youth in dumps. Most young people in previous "luckier" generations weren't anywhere near the property ladder. When are young people going to realise that roughing it and feeling permanently broke when you're starting out has always been with us. It's not some ghastly new concept exclusively devised to torture the youth of 2012.

More specifically, why aren't their parents refusing to house them for a period of, say, nine months, but no longer? Why aren't parents clammy with fear that, without the priceless hurly-burly of cash-strapped independence, their children will turn into cosseted, emotionally stunted freaks?

The time you move out can have major impacts on future wealth, new Australian survey reveals

Their hopes of attracting a partner will wane with each second they live at home. In my day, this was up there with halitosis, syphilis and alphabeticised music collections as a dating no-no. These days, while there is always much talk of neglectful parents, increasingly there seems to be the opposite problem of over-parenting.

Parents are making themselves slavishly available to their offspring, well into adulthood, with disastrous long-term results. Bar exceptional circumstances, this level of over-parenting is approaching child abuse.

While it is one thing to help adult children through a short-term crisis catastrophe, debt, relationship breakdownsurely the endgame is their successful autonomy. For most people, independence is the magic ticket to self-reliance, self-esteem and the future.

Take it away and what's left? A place in their parents' life?

  1. Keeping in contact when you move away from friends and family takes extra effort. One small problem can lead to another, possibly leading to a fallout with your parents.
  2. Your mom may have something ready on the table by the time you come home from work. This could be you, if you leave home at the right time.
  3. They will talk and walk in the same way as they have been doing since decades. I know about high rents, low wages, no wages, exploitative landlords, travel costs, dangerous areas, debts, student or otherwise, and the housing ladder.

That gilded cage, that domestic prison. It simply isn't enough. Instead of over-parenting at close quarters, how about over-parenting from a distance? Bung them a few quid to get started, sub them endlessly, with the proviso that they must move out.

Why do we still shame adults who live with their parents?

What these homebound "kids" are saving in monetary terms is far outweighed by what they're losing. If you are one of them, my advice is — get out, be broke, endure that crummy flat share.

At least you would be living your own life. Above all, accept the terrible truth — it's time for you to run away from home. Sadly, for them, this was markedly less disturbing than their ensuing pretension. Other than that, do they seriously think anyone cares?

Moving out of home

But then, anti-materialist gestures have a habit of imploding. I liked sometime band KLF's infamous burning of a million quid, but it was still funny to hear how some of the "media representatives" entrusted to lay cash on the pyre ran off to the pub with it instead. Truth is, most people are too far removed from Birkin bags and millions of pounds to become emotionally unsettled by their destruction.

What a novel way of selling Stephen King's new novel Stephen King has opted to initially publish his new book, Joyland, in print format only, despite having been an ebook pioneer with 2000's Riding the Bullet. Meanwhile, in Hay-on-Wye, bookshop owner Derek Addyman wants Kindles and e-readers banned from the literary festival, saying that users are "like robots".

To this end, he's erected a window display featuring a Kindle with a tombstone next to it. Yeah, in your face, electronic reader devils!

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To a degree, I sympathise with this uprising of the literary luddites. I like a real book and the Kindle looks a bit too much like a grown-up Etch A Sketch. Then again, people who use them love them and what's really so bad about building a hinterland via a mains-charged Etch A Sketch, with print-enlarging feature? What I don't understand is why e-readers suffer constant harangues for being the death of literature.

  • Rather, he believed it was simply the types of people and personalities who moved out at that age were more likely to flourish;
  • News Limited And while parents may have the best intentions in wanting to help out their kids, Mr McCrindle said they risked affecting their dependence mindset and brewing the unrealistic expectation that they can start their economic life the way their parents ended it;
  • Either way, there's no need for techno-panic;
  • A big disadvantage of living with your parents especially from the perspective of someone in their 20s or 30s, is that you can't call your friends over.

I'd have thought that books were the real culprits. From what I can glean, it's difficult to share books on Kindle; mostly, everyone has to buy their own copy, which surely neutralises any initial difference in price. By contrast, books can be shared into infinity. Some people even dump them on public transport for strangers to read "Excuse me, I believe you just sat on a Margaret Drabble". Then everyone wonders why so many writers are broke and must dine forlornly on beans in cans or on canapes at launches of books written by more successful authors they've just spent all afternoon anonymously slagging off on Amazon.

Living With Your Parents: Advantages and Disadvantages of Staying With Mom and Dad

Either way, there's no need for techno-panic. Just as with the music industry and vinyl, paper books will never be allowed to die. Maybe Hay-on-Wye booksellers could adapt their shops to include both real books and discreet downloading terminals.

Still living with your parents at 30? Get a life