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The importance of telling a child the consequences of his actions

  1. Using your child as a shoulder to cry on or to burden with worries is not acceptable and WILL damage your child and their mental health.
  2. In addition, self-disciplined kids cope better with frustration and stress and tend to have a greater sense of social responsibility.
  3. No one person is more important than anyone else.

On average, happy people are more successful than unhappy people at both work and love. They get better performance reviews, have more prestigious jobs, and earn higher salaries.

Helping Your Child Through a Divorce

They are more likely to get married, and once married, they are more satisfied with their marriage. So looking at the science, what really works when it comes to raising happy kids? Get Happy Yourself The first step to happier kids is, ironically, a little bit selfish. How happy you are affects how happy and successful your kids are — dramatically. Parental depression actually seems to cause behavioral problems in kids; it also makes our parenting less effective.

And this is not merely due to genetics. Take some time each week to have fun with friends. Because laughter is contagious, hang out with friends or family members who are likely to be laughing themselves. Neuroscientists believe that hearing another person laugh triggers mirror neurons in a region of the brain that makes listeners feel as though they are actually laughing themselves. More scientific methods for increasing your happiness here. Teach Them To Build Relationships Nobody denies learning about relationships is important — but how many parents actually spend the time to teach kids how to relate to others?

It can start with encouraging kids to perform small acts of kindness to build empathy. This not only builds essential skills and makes your kids better people, research shows over the long haul it makes them happier.

These helpers were especially protected against depression and anxiety. More on creating good relationships here. Relentlessly banging the achievement drum messes kids up. Parents who overemphasize achievement are more likely to have kids with high levels of depression, anxiety, and substance abuse compared to other kids. The research is very consistent: Praise effort, not natural ability.

  • Jealously and resentment are commonplace and can be destructive for all parties involved in the split; it is important to detach from the hurt and stay focused on who you want to be;
  • Teach Self-Discipline Self-discipline in kids is more predictive of future success than intelligence — or most anything else, for that matter;
  • Although there's no easy way to break the news, if possible have both parents there for this conversation;
  • I want to have a playdate right NOW;
  • Children know what feels right and wrong, but fear might drive them to make the wrong choice.

They are not diverted from the task of learning by a concern with how smart they might — or might not — look. Teach Optimism Want to avoid dealing with a surly teenager? Then teach those pre-teens to look on the bright side. Ten-year-olds who are taught how to think and interpret the world optimistically are half as prone to depression when they later go through puberty.

Author Christine Carter puts it simply: Are more successful at school, work and athletics Are healthier and live longer End up more satisfied with their marriages Are less likely to deal with depression and anxiety More on how to encourage optimism here.

Teach Emotional Intelligence Emotional intelligence is a skill, not an inborn trait. Tell me about that. I want to have a playdate right NOW. Relate to the child, help them identify what they are feeling and let them know that those feelings are okay even though bad behavior might not be.

More on active listening and labeling and how hostage negotiators use this here. We can overcome that with good habits. Thinking through these methods is taxing but acting habitually is easy, once habits have been established. How do you help kids build lasting happiness habits? Carter explains a few powerful methods backed by research: Get distractions and temptations out of the way.

  • The Importance of Consistency Consistency and routine can go a long way toward providing comfort and familiarity that can help your family during this major life change;
  • Changes of any kind are hard — know that you and your kids can and will adjust to this one;
  • What happened is between mom and dad and is not the child's fault;
  • Unstructured play helps children learn how to work in groups, to share, negotiate, resolve conflicts, regulate their emotions and behavior, and speak up for themselves;
  • Most kids already practice mindfulness — fully enjoying the present moment — when they play.

Establish goals to increase social support — and social pressure. One Goal At A Time: Too many goals overwhelms willpowerespecially for kids. Solidify one habit before adding another. There will be relapses. More on developing good habits here.

Teach Self-Discipline Self-discipline in kids is more predictive of future success than intelligence — or most anything else, for that matter. Kids who better resisted temptation went on to much better lives years later and were happier. This is at least in part because self-discipline facilitates learning and information processing.

In addition, self-disciplined kids cope better with frustration and stress and tend to have a greater sense of social responsibility. In other words, self-discipline leads not just to school success and sitting nicely at the dinner table but to greater happiness, more friends and increased community engagement.

How to Raise Happy Kids: 10 Steps Backed by Science

Help kids learn to distract themselves from temptation. One way to do it is to obscure the temptation—to physically cover up the tempting marshmallow. When a reward is covered up, 75 percent of kids in one study were able to wait a full fifteen minutes for the second marshmallow; none of the kids was able to wait this long when the reward was visible.

More on increasing self-discipline here.

Relationship breakdowns: 11 tips on helping your children cope

More Playtime We read a lot about mindfulness and meditation these days — and both are quite powerful. Getting kids to do them regularly however can be quite a challenge.

What works almost as well? Most kids already practice mindfulness — fully enjoying the present moment — when they play. Researchers believe that this dramatic drop in unstructured playtime is in part responsible for slowing kids cognitive and emotional development… In addition to helping kids learn to self-regulate, child-led, unstructured play with or without adults promoted intellectual, physical, social, and emotional well-being.

Unstructured play helps children learn how to work in groups, to share, negotiate, resolve conflicts, regulate their emotions and behavior, and speak up for themselves.

No strict instructions are necessary here: Budget more time for your kids to just get outside and simply play.

  • So reassure them that it's OK to wish that mom and dad will reunite, but also explain the finality of your decisions;
  • Have you carried guilt around with you all your life?
  • Similar expectations about bedtimes, rules, and homework will reduce anxiety, especially in younger children;
  • If you prioritise your child, you will both benefit greatly as you watch them grow and develop into a happy little person whose love will drive you to be a better version of yourself;
  • What works almost as well?

More on the power of playing for kids and adults here. Your efforts will be constrained by time and effort, while context affects us and children constantly.