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A tongue has no bones but it can break

It can be defined as the quality of endurance and equanimity in the face of adversity, from simple delay or provocation to tragic misfortune and mortal pain. Being both beneficial and difficult, patience is often thought of as a virtue, but it can equally be understood as a complex of virtues including self-controlhumility, tolerance, generosityand mercy, and also underlies several other virtues such as hope, faith, and love.

  1. In that much, patience is a form of compassion, which, rather than disregarding and alienating people, turns them into friends and allies. Unfortunately, human beings evolved not as farmers but as hunter-gatherers, and have a strong tendency to discount long- term rewards.
  2. Being both beneficial and difficult, patience is often thought of as a virtue, but it can equally be understood as a complex of virtues including self-control , humility, tolerance, generosity , and mercy, and also underlies several other virtues such as hope, faith, and love. In the 13 thousands words that you are going to use in the next 24 hours, be aware and be careful of the ones you say.
  3. They can even leave a scar on some. Impatience may be defined as the inability or disinclination to endure perceived imperfection.

It is thus a paradigm for the unity of the virtues. See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men. Impatience may be defined as the inability or disinclination to endure perceived imperfection. It is a rejection of the present moment on the grounds that it is marred and ought to be supplanted by some more ideal imagined future. Ultimately, impatience amounts to a rejection of the nature of reality.

  • Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 21 2;
  • Simply put, because I have privileged access to my own thoughts and feelings, I blow them out of all proportion;
  • They underlie not only rash and destructive action, but also, paradoxically, procrastination , since to put off a difficult or boring task is also to put off the irritation and frustration to which it is bound to give rise;
  • Patience is much easier, perhaps even pleasant, to exercise if one truly understands that it can and does deliver much better outcomes, not just for ourselves but for others too.

Patience recognizes that life is a struggle for each and every one of us, but impatience takes offense at people for being the kind of people that they are, betraying a certain disregard, even contempt, for human nature in its finitude.

Impatience and frustration are as misguided as they are miserable, and as sterile as they are self-defeating. They underlie not only rash and destructive action, but also, paradoxically, procrastinationsince to put off a difficult or boring task is also to put off the irritation and frustration to which it is bound to give rise. Today more than ever patience is a forgotten virtue.

Our individualistic and materialistic society values ambition and action or, at least, activity above all else, whereas patience seems to involve a withdrawing and withholding of the self.

A tongue has no bones

In a recent study of millions of internet users, researchers found that, within just 10 seconds, about half of users had given up a tongue has no bones but it can break videos that had not started to play. Users with a faster connection were fastest to click away, suggesting that superior technology and technological progress is eroding our patience.

Even in pre-technological times, the so-called egocentric predicament made patience difficult to exercise. Simply put, because I have privileged access to my own thoughts and feelings, I blow them out of all proportion. If I am impatient in the checkout queue, it is in large part because I am under the impression that my time is more valuable, and my purpose more worthwhile, than that of the mugs standing in front of me.

Believing that I could be doing a much better job of operating the till, I give dagger eyes to the cashier, failing to recognize that she is coming at it from a different perspective and with different skills and abilities. In the end, my frustration in itself becomes a source of frustration as I vacillate between biding my time and taking abortive action.

Patience can be regarded as a decision-making problem: Unfortunately, human beings evolved not as farmers but as hunter-gatherers, and have a strong tendency to discount long- term rewards. These studies, conducted on hundreds of mostly four- and five-year old children, involved a simple binary choice: Follow-up studies carried out over 40 years found that the minority of children who had been able to hold out for a second marshmallow went on to enjoy significantly better life outcomes, including higher test scores, better social skills, and less substance misuse.

Even so, patience involves much more than the mere ability to hold back for some future gain. Yes, waiting is involved, but one also needs to have a plan in place, and, moreover, to work at that plan. Thus, when it comes to others, patience does not amount to mere restraint or toleration, but to a complicit engagement in their struggle and welfare. In that much, patience is a form of compassion, which, rather than disregarding and alienating people, turns them into friends and allies.

If impatience implies impotence, patience implies power, power born out of understanding. Rather than make us into a hostage to fortune, patience frees us from frustration and its ills, delivers us to the present moment, and affords us the calm and perspective to think, say, and do the right thing in the right way at the right time— which is why, with psychotherapyboth patient and therapist can require several years together.

Last but not least, patience enables us to achieve things that would otherwise have been impossible to achieve. Neither does it mean withholding, just like ageing a case of fine wine for several years does not mean withholding from wine during all that time. Life is too short to wait, but it is not too short for patience. Patience is much easier, perhaps even pleasant, to exercise if one truly understands that it can and does deliver much better outcomes, not just for ourselves but for others too.

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In 2012, researchers at the University of Rochester replicated the marshmallow experiment. However, before doing so, they split the participating children into two groups, exposing one group to unreliable experiences in the form of broken promises, and the other to reliable experiences in the form of honoured promises. They subsequently found that the children exposed to honoured promises waited an average of four times longer than the children exposed to broken promises.

  • See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men;
  • In the end, my frustration in itself becomes a source of frustration as I vacillate between biding my time and taking abortive action.

In other words, patience is largely a matter of trust, or, some might say, faith. Neel Burton References Krishnan and Sitaraman 2012. Cognitive and attentional mechanisms in delay of gratification. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 21 2: