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The family traditions marriage customs and education in japan

The family traditions marriage customs and education in japan

Expensive weddings are equated with high status and some families go into debt to have the most expensive wedding possible. Japanese hotel-style weddings include a decorated aisle for the bride to walk down, a change of dress during the reception, an exchange of rings, the lighting of candles at the guests tables during the meal and a presentation of flowers by the newly wed couple to their parents, Sometimes the bride's family pays for the wedding.

Sometimes the groom's does or both families share the costs. Often one family will lobby to host the wedding and then take out a large loan to pay for it.


The parents are willing to foot a big bill to avoid losing face. Most weddings are held in hotels. In the early 2000s, it became popular to have house weddings, held at designated homes. The houses are generally mansions that can accommodate a lot of people.

Even so having a wedding there is often cheaper than at a hotel. Links in this Website: Good Photos at Japan-Photo Archive japan-photo. Based on the ceremony used by Emperor Taisho in 1900 when he was crown prince, they are primarily for show and were established as a Japanese version of Western wedding ceremonies. Wedding ceremonies for ordinary Japanese remained modest affairs usually held at home until the 1960s when Japanese became more affluent and people had enough money to have weddings outside their homes.

  1. One Japanese baseball team even offered reduced rate tickets to anyone who was willing to kiss outside the box office. The proportion of respondents who fear being unable to marry despite a desire to do so came to 36.
  2. Displays of Affection in Japan couple in a Tokyo karaoke Asian couples don't usually express affection towards each other in public. The goal for young women is to become an okusan, or Mrs.
  3. After the cake cut she changes into a brightly colored young-girls kimono, and later in the party dons a white Western-style bridal dress and finally puts on an Audrey Hepburn-style evening gown.
  4. If the couple liked each other and the union of their families was regarded as advantageous the couple dated until their engagement was formally announced and betrothal gifts were formally exchanged.
  5. Participants usually receive a bag of souvenirs, including a charm to fight evil spirits, a bottle of sake, local sweets and chopsticks.

The tradition of hosting expensive weddings reportedly began in the 1960s and was spurred by the elaborate, nationally-televised wedding of Emperor Akihito when he was Crown Prince and the future Empress in 1959, the lavish wedding of superstar actor Yujiro Ishihara and actress Mie Kitahara in 1960 and the elevation of Japan's status in the world after Tokyo hosted the Olympics in 1964.

Japanese were encouraged by hotels and wedding companies to host expensive weddings and a large number of wedding halls were built to accommodate the demand.

By 1986, according to a survey by Sanwa bank, more than 70 percent of weddings were either held at hotels or wedding halls.

Wedding Preparations in Japan wedding seminar in hotel lobby Before a marriage takes place the families of the bride and groom have a couple of meetings. The first one determines if the families are compatible. The second sets the terms for the wedding ceremony and decides who pays for what. Families sometimes investigate potential in-laws to make sure there are no whiffs of scandal.

The wedding preparations and wedding are typically overseen by a nakodo an honored go-between who is usually an older, respected married man. In the old days the nakado often acted like a matchmaker in an arranged marriages.

These days he is often an uncle of the bride of groom who is well liked and respected. He often acts like a best man, giving introductions, and leading toasts at the wedding party. Engagement rings were not been part of Japanese courtship ritual until the diamond cartel De Beers created a market for them with television advertising and print ads in women's magazines beginning in the 1960s, presenting them as symbols of Western sexuality and affluence. In the 1966 only 6 percent of Japanese brides received any sort of engagement ring, and those who did usually received a pearl one.

Only 1 percent received a diamond ring. By the early 1980s, two thirds of all engaged women received a ring, and three quarters of them got diamond rings. By the early 1990s, 90 percent fo Japanese brides received a diamond ring when they got married. Washington Post] Sundays in November are hugely popular days for getting married.

The Sundays preceding butsumetsu bad luck days are regarded as unlucky and many hotels and wedding halls offer 30 percent discounts for wedding ceremonies held on these days but even then there are few takers. A bride that endures five costume changes wears a traditional white kimono with a white hat fixed over complex hairstyle usually a wig for the ceremony.

  • It has traditionally been considered taboo to touch the nape of a girl's neck;
  • Those that do sit at the alter and given boxes with the rings by the mikos.

Then she changes into an elaborately-designed mostly red kimono at the beginning of the reception. After the cake cut she changes into a brightly colored young-girls kimono, and later in the party dons a white Western-style bridal dress and finally puts on an Audrey Hepburn-style evening gown. Traditional wedding costumes worn by women often includes a large white veil that conceals the "horns of jealousy" and used to include a small dagger like those used in ritual suicides in the event the bride dishonored her husband.

White has traditionally been the color of wedding kimonos because white is a symbol of purity and mourning.

  1. It is reported that of the eight marriages with foreign brides in the town of Tadami, two ended in divorce and two more were reportedly in trouble. The bride's party stands near the bride's parents next to the bride.
  2. In February 2006, a Chinese woman married to a Japanese man stabbed two children to death in her car while her 5-year-old daughter looked on. By 2005, these percentages had surged to 72.
  3. Of the 10,842 Japanese married outside of Japan, 85 percent were between Japanese women and foreign men. They only go to the wedding party afterwards.
  4. Young people can be seen embracing in the parks and wives sometimes kiss their husbands goodbye at train stations. Good Photos at Japan-Photo Archive japan-photo.
  5. Japanese couples ranked dead last, by a significant margin, in the compatibility of their views. Yomiuri Shimbun, May 11, 2012] Image Sources.

The latter is a reference to the fact that the bride is upset over leaving her family. In some rural areas brides are displayed in the window of their homes like mannequins in a store front window.

Japanese Wedding Ceremonies A Japanese wedding is usually held at Shinto shrine, a Shinto shrine within a hotel or a wedding hall. Many hotels and wedding halls also have Christian chapels, where ceremonies are held. Shinto weddings ceremonies usually last around 20 to 30 minutes. The couple is blessing by a Shinto priest, they sip some sake and a say few words.

There is no best men and no giving the bride away. Sometimes rings are exchanged. After the ceremony the families of the bride's and groom are formally introduced to each other. The wedding ceremony is usually only attended by close family members.

Most of the guests for the wedding don't even show up for the ceremony. They only go to the wedding party afterwards. Early Events at a Japanese Wedding Ceremony help for forgotten lines An hour so before the wedding ceremony the guests of the groom and the guests of the bride are taken into separate rooms at the Shinto shrine are coached about what they will do in the wedding ceremony.

Sometimes there is a procession of sorts.

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In the old days gifts were taken to the grooms house in a wagon. These days sometimes they are loaded in a back of a truck. The bride and groom sit down in front a small table near the altar. The bride's party stands near the bride's parents next to the bride. Often there are cameras mounted on the ceiling that record the ceremony.

The formal ceremony began when all people present bow towards the alter. The priest gives a short speech and waves a haraigushi a branch of a sacred tree with white linen or paper streamers attached as a symbol of purification.

The priests then chants an invocation, addressing several deities, and proclaims the bride and groom united Later Events at a Wedding Ceremony in Japan wedding procession after ceremony The main focus of the ceremony is ritual drinking of sake. A miko female assistant of the priest brings some sake to the bride and groom, which is poured into small cups.

The grooms drinks first, finishing the sake in three sips. The bride then does the same. After this, sake is served to the groom's parents and the bride's parents.


The the family traditions marriage customs and education in japan of the fathers are exchanged. Everybody shares their sake and drinks and proclaim Omedeto gozimasu "congratulations". At a cue from the miko the groom reads the wedding vow: We respectfully pledge to make our hearts as one, give mutual help and support, faithfully execute our marital duties and responsibilities, and spend all the days of our lives together with unchanging trust and eternal affection. The couple then makes a traditional offering of tamagushi small branches of the sacred sakaki tree to the kami nature spirits of the shrine.

Everyone then bows twice, claps their hands two times, then bows again. Some coupes exchange rings. Those that do sit at the alter and given boxes with the rings by the mikos. After this everyone applauds. Sometimes some gifts are presented. The priest then recites an invocation and announces the successful completion of the ceremony.

Japanese Wedding Parties Wedding parties, or receptions, are the main event of the wedding. Usually held in a special room at a hotel, they feature a sit-down meal, speeches, drinks and karaoke on a tight schedule but rarely any dancing. Large weddings are often filled with many people the bride and groom don't know.

Often they are business clients or colleagues of the father hosting the wedding. Those further down the line are done between karaoke songs with the guests not listening so politely.

The nakado acts like best man, giving an important opening speech. There is often a Master of Ceremonies who announced each speech and phase of the party. Employees of the wedding company make sure everything goes smoothly, tell people what to do and where to go and help the bride and groom get dressed. Speeches are usually given by the fathers of the bride and groom, and bosses, friends, company presidents, college professors and even high school coaches and teacher with links to the newlyweds.

  • According to the firm's "wedding trends report," the average amount couples spent increased by 181,000 yen from fiscal 2009, while the average cost per guest also rose to a record 54,000 yen;
  • In June 2008, a law that stated a Japanese man had to be married to a non-Japanese women for their child to be entitled to Japanese citizenship was ruled unconstitutional by the Japanese Supreme Court.

The speeches are usually very dull. Sometimes they can be funny if speechmaker is drunk. When speeches run too long, sometimes the MC will turn off the microphone.

Some company president spend nearly every weekend at a wedding giving speeches. If you are worried about not having enough guests. There are companies that rent out wedding guests. Hotel wedding are a major business for Japanese hotels.

Wedding Party Schedule in Japan wedding picture Japanese wedding parties usually begin with: This is followed by a 1 short speeches by the nakado and the Master of Ceremonies introducing the bride and groom; 2 speeches of high ranking people such as bosses and professors; 3 toasts; and 4 a cue for guests start eating.

While people are eating there are: The bride may do one to three dress changes during the party. If there are three dress changes that means there is lots of drinking and eating and speeches to fill the time. The party reaches the midway point when: A large one can run several thousand dollars. To save money many newlyweds use a massive plastic cake that has small wedge in it containing a single piece of real cake. The cake is "cut" with the bride's hand resting on the groom to signify their first act together as husband and wife.

Music is played and everyone gives a toast to the couple's good health.